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Stephen Colbert Presents: Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7 - Tek Jansen the New Adventures
Stephen Colbert Presents: * Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure - Tek Jansen the New Adventures is an uplifting series of animated adventures that also teach valuable lessons, created by Stephen Colbert in response to no publisher accepting his novel Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure. The first episode aired on the August 8, 2006 broadcast of The Colbert Report. Stephen has described the series as being "like Fat Albert, only skinny, white and in space." Episodes Series 1 Operation: Heart of The Phoenix - Dead or Alive: A Tek Jansen Adventure Original Airdate: August 8, 2006 Tek's expression of surprise: Solar Plexus! Tek's Mission: Tek must break into the Fortress, find the filing sector, find the plans for the inhibitor cannon so he can stop the Brazilian from destroying New Earth's cloud supply, and then deliver those plans back to base. Operation: Destiny's Underbelly: Entrapped!: A Tek Jansen Adventure Original Airdate: September 18, 2006 Tek's expression of surprise: Haley's Comet! Tek's Mission: Tek Jansen has been captured by The Brazilian's army of Magwad henchmen. He must escape before he is killed. Later joined by Cadets Kevin and Jenny, Tek must stop The Brazilian as New Earth's cloud supply is being drained by the inhibitor cannon. Operation: Aurora Strikes Midnight: Courage's Arrival: A Tek Jansen Adventure Original Airdate: October 11, 2006 Tek's expression of surprise: Astro Glide! Tek's Mission: Tek must dock his spaceship and disembark onto Space Station Theta Zeus Aquarius. Operation: Homecoming's Doorstep: Cat On A Luniharp: A Tek Jansen Adventure Original Airdate: December 6, 2006 Tek's expressions of surprise: Saturn Ion!/Parumpum/Apollo Creed! Tek's Mission: Tek must fulfill his oath to the exotic holodancer Eueaiaua to cure Quadrant 5 of the Rasalgethian Plague. Operation: Hounds of Hell: Ragtime Billy Peaches: A Tek Jansen Adventure Original Airdate: January 10, 2007 Tek's expressions of surprise: Saturn Ion!/Parumpum/Apollo Creed! Tek's Mission: Tek must fight an Ultrapod to save Senatrix Truluria and escape the Combatosphere. Operation: Dragontongue: Chocolate Blades Of Thunder: A Tek Jansen Adventure Original Airdate: February 7, 2007 Tek's expressions of surprise: Parumpum/Solar Plexus! Tek's Mission: Tek must travel through time to save Prince Thy5dio and his attendants from danger, including multiple space-time continuum versions of Tek Jansen. Series 2 Beginning's First Dawn: A Tek Jansen Adventure Chapter 1: The strenuous journey from boy to hero is begun this day._ Original Airdate: September 12, 2007 Tek's expression of surprise: Solar Plexus! Tek's Mission: This is where it all began – a teenage Tek Jansen stumbles into his first intergalactic adventure! Chapter 2: For each great master was once a lowly student in a school of them._ Original Airdate: April 3, 2008 Tek's expressions of surprise: Solar Plexus! / Golly Gulp! / Parumpum! / Space Mountain! Tek's Mission: A teenage Tek Jansen grows up fast after joining Alpha Squad. The next exciting episode is just three parsecs away cadets! Theme Song On the November 8, 2006 edition of The Colbert Report, Stephen shared the stirring new theme song for the series. Lyrics Tek Jansen! Alpha Squad 7 Facing the future of courage Killing the aliens. Loving the aliens. Sometimes loving, then killing the aliens. Tek Jansen! Wearer of starsuits Surfing the comet of danger! Foiling his enemy Thermond Chang (And those affiliated with the Thermond Chang Gang.) "Tek, tell me your space dreams Put down your bioplasma disruptor pistol And love me through the night." Tek Jansen! Galaxy hero Superawesomespectacular ultraspy! Scourge of the Fistilorbs, Friend of the Joribees, Neutral to the Slibs. Tek Jansen! And Porpy His zany buddy Gettin' in trouble Actin' all nutty Guaranteed to give you a smile! Porpy! And his friend... Tek Jansen! Hunter of quasars His exciting exploits would sell millions of books! It is the future! You are a hero! "I am Tek Jansen." Tek! Yea-aah! Lessons From The Series *Always make sure the exotic lady you bed is not also a murderous crab-creature. See Also *Tek Jansen *Porpy